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Since my dog, Sheena, contracted breast cancer in June, 2011, and we'd been taking walks together, I noticed little gifts of nature from God on almost every walk. I think He sent them to make the pain of knowing I'd soon lose her more bearable. She died on November 27, 2011, and I still see these gifts. I'll post them here for all to enjoy. Some posts may include pictures. If you're in a similar situation with a pet or a family member and want to post gifts like mine or just talk, please, feel free. Please, have your dog spayed or neutered to avoid the heartache my family has been through. I think God was teaching me about “living in the moment,” being thankful to Him, and maybe to not think about the future so much.


Sunday, February 19, 2012

The Four Horses of Sheena's Last Summer


I’ve been busy with classwork for my master’s in creative writing and decided to take a break. I’ve been thinking about my next blog post. My husband wanting to get two horses helped me decide what to write about, the day Sheena had her surgery to remove the two mammary tumors and spay her. Deciding on having this surgery was left up to me, either do or don’t do. Do it and any other little cancer cells in Sheena’s body may go hog wild and kill her in a few short months, or do it and if there’s no more cancer in her, she’ll live a long time. Don’t do it and the main tumors will keep the other cancers at bay and she may live a long time, or not, it may kill her just as quickly. Weighing the options, I decided to take the bit higher chance of success the vet gave me with having the main tumors removed because it appeared she had no other cancer cells in important systems in her body. I went with “getting rid of the main tumors would rid her of the scourge.” On June 2nd, we drove to the vet after her not having any breakfast and I said goodbye to her and gave her leash to the vet tech.
They asked me if I wanted to wait in the office but I declined. My van was my destination. The secretary said if I needed anything to come in. As the morning progressed, I watched people come and go with their sick and well animals and worked on finishing a book I was writing, The Diamond Road. By noon, I noticed it was hot and I was hungry so I went to McDonald’s and got lunch, especially a big iced tea to last all afternoon. When I returned, the vet was putting stacks of hay in the small fenced-in animal pen next to his parking lot. I parked close and waited to see what kind of animals came out. Barred rock and Rhode Island Red chickens had run around in that area all morning pecking and scratching in the used hay, giving me an amusing show when they ran helter-skelter away and came back when people drove up the vet’s driveway.

As the vet spread the hay in a round metal rack, horses began coming out of a small gray barn behind me. One all white adult, one all-white foal, one appaloosa brown and white adult, and one appaloosa brown and white foal. My first thoughts were of a beautiful family and how much they looked alike, of course, those thoughts were mixed with ones of Sheena’s future and what I’d do if I lost her. As I watched the horses move around the pen and eat I relaxed, living in the moment as I watched the sun glint off their sleek bodies while they ate the hay and looked around for more. They soon came close to my van and I took pictures. Imagine my shock when I realized that the foals weren’t foals. They were adult miniature horses! How the vet got those four horses to look so much alike is a puzzle I’ll leave unsolved. All I cared about was the relaxed way the big horses cared for the little ones, letting them walk under their legs to eat, making sure not to step on them. The two hours I watched them enjoy just being alive energized me that day for what was to happen that night and the next day. Bringing Sheena home and helping her recover, and hope that the best was yet to come. The beautiful pictures from an old cell phone I took as the adult horses shaded the miniatures form the scalding heat of that day are also another gift from God, I think. Cell phone pictures don't usually turn out this clear..  

10 comments:

  1. They're so cute! Amazing. - Tanja

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    1. Thank you for visiting, Tanja, and for posting. The little minis weren't fat ones like we sometimes see and that's what made me think they were foals.

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  2. What a lovely yet heart breaking story. I agree about spaying or neutering our animals.

    We found a small dog half dead in our back yard a couple of months ago. He'd not had his surgery and the vet said he'd been in a fight with a big dog and lost. Possibly over a female. She also said the little thing had been on his own for a while. He's healthy now, all seven pounds of him and asleep at my feet. (And as soon as he was well enough, he had his surgery.)

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    1. Jerri, thank you for visiting and posting, and your story is touching, too! Thank you also for rescuing the little boy. What breed is he? Can you post a picture?

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  3. Warning: Possible tearjerker ahead:
    Reading your post reminded me of the night I lost my cat, Kitana. she was getting old and had already gone blind. She was still in good health and could find her way to her food dish and the litter box, although there were times she would run into the other cat if he was in the way. Other than her blindness, she was in good health. But one day, her appitite started waning and I could see she was going downhill. I finally came to terms that she was leaving us, so one night, I picked her up, petted her, and told her that she could go if she was ready. The next night, she just fell over and was gone. It was like she wanted to make sure we would be okay without her.

    I know that animals don't have souls like people do, but I have a belief that may sound a little strange. I believe, for those of us who know the Lord, that God is our father. And as our Father, we will be reunited with our pets in Heaven. I figure that He will create an Eden-like place and there were animals in Eden.

    Irene

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    1. I remember Kitana. I like her a lot. If I remember correctly, she was your first rescued kitty. I hope the Eden-like place is true because I'll spend the time I'm not worshiping God in the garden playing with my pets and others, and thanking God I had them in my life on Earth.

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  4. This comment is from a friend who isn't on blogger: "I read your blog about the horses. How sweet! I sense that you are still hurting very much over the loss of Sheena and I want you to know that I am praying for you and that it's all right. One thing we encounter that we should not let discourage us is a comment or a look from a non-animal lover when it comes to grieving our beloved pet. These animals become one of the family so it's only natural that we would miss them just as much as a loved one. When they leave us, they leave a very big hole in our heart, an empty space in our life, and a quietness in our house that is maddening some days. Every one is different, and we all grieve different, but I can tell you that while we weren't trying to replace our Sarah, Lilly the new pup is exactly what we needed to take the 'sting' of death away. We still miss Sarah very much. We still have sad momments and 'remember when' s, but Lilly fills just enough of that space that the sting is no longer there.
    I would like to encourage you to pray about and consider a new family member when you are ready. The shelters are full of surrendered animals right now because people just cannot afford to keep their pets and feed them due to the economy. And here's another thought that I think is so healing and generous. Why not make a donation of dogfood, pet food, bleach, cleaning supplies to the Humane Society or the Dog Pound in memory of Sheena. They are always in desperate need of these things and we were told that the Humane Society can only house what they can feed. The rest either get hopefully sent to rescue homes until adopted or as in the case of my Thomas the Big Kahuna.... he was an older cat of age 3 so they were going to put him down because they did not have enough room and food for him. He has been the absolute joy of my heart and we have been blessed with his presence for the past 8 years. Just know that I am praying for you and you take as long as you need to grieve. No one should ever expect you to 'get over it' because we never 'get over' losing a loved one, we just learn to live with the loss and look forward to our reunion in Heaven one day.
    Take care friend!
    Jean
    PS-Lilly's facebook page and YouTube videos are growing in number and 'likes'

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  5. Thank you, Jean. I'm so glad you rescued The Big Kahuna! All prayers are appreciated. People don't realize that prayer really does help us with our problems, and I think if we learn to see the little gifts God sends us that will also help us recover from the problems life throws at us.

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  6. Sandy, this blog has me in tears. How beautiful, how sensitive. How your words moved right into my heart. God blesses your precious Sheena by holding her in His arms every day. I firmly believe there is an ever-after for the sweet creatures who touch our lives. My black Lab, Marley, stopped eating one day, just a few months after my husband regained his health after a battle with testicular cancer...hers was an inoperable hemangiosarcoma on her kidneys. Knowing how chemo had nearly killed my husband, we decided no canine chemo, took her home and loved her for a few days before the Rainbow Bridge. Without his "sister" (they weren't related), our black Lab boy really failed and the hip displasia caught up with him: nine months later we lost him, too.

    We are letting ourselves heal and enjoy our two grandsons at this time, before adopting again. So I volunteer at the local horse rescue. These beautiful animals all have a heart breaking story, and all are full of such love. Feeding them carrots is one of my favorite things.

    I got to "baby sit" a mini horse at the equine hospital. She was the size of our Labs. Such a cute little girl.

    Thanks for this beautiful post.

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    1. Thank you for visiting my blog! You touch my heart, too. So many losses in so short a time, and cancer in your hubby, too. I'm glad you like the horses you're working with, small ones like that are so cute. I imagine they have to be trained like bigger horses, correct? My husband wants to get 2 horses on the 1st of March, and I'm leery of loving them and if we lose them, I'd be heartbroken-again. I don't think I'll get around them for awhile, just in case. So many people I've blogged with believe that we'll see our pets in Heaven, I can't wait to get there and see her and other animals!

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